deja’vu all over again. sort of.

this week begins the third time my husband has gotten a job away from home… once again I will not be moving with him. it begins our 12th year on living apart. it is so different this time. the children are grown. there is no noble reason for this. I suspose it is my fault, but is it really? why would I say it is my fault? because I did not follow through on our plan to get out of debt. so the new plan is when I get the debt paid, I can join him in the new town. Of course part of the reason for not going yet is to make sure the job is going to last. I guess that is understandable.
It is very different this time because I am less sure of myself than ever before in my life. I have health issues, not big ones, the kind that nag at you, make you feel as if you are going crazy, and make others not want to deal with you. So being away is a relief for my husband.
This is so much more difficult this time because of what happend the last time… an emotional affair. my husband began to turn to someone else in my absence. honestly I do not think that will happen again anytime soon anyway… mainly because he still contacts the other woman.
I feel more alone this time than ever before. this is a time in my life that I need hands on support from the most important person in my world and he is once again absent.
DEALING: I have taken some steps in dealing with all of this… first, I began a bible reading plan. second, I will begin to exercise. third, I don’t know what is third, but I will think of something

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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