it’s my call

OK so I find myself in a situation that others have been in and others have not.  Many have told me what they think I should do and that they would not put up with what I am.   Those who have not been in this situation think they know what they would do, but in reality they do not. 

As reinforced by my therapist, it is my call how I handle this.  I decide how long I continue to go along with the way things are.  I decide when to draw the line in the sand.  I have begun to do this in other situations as well.  I can choose how to handle the people who hurt me and the things that they do to hurt me.  I can let whoever I want in my life whenever I want.  It’s MY call!  mine.   Truthfully it always has been, the problem has been and still is those who tell me that my decisions are wrong.  funny thing is when I extend them the same generosity they don’t think it wrong.  In reality those I am generous with seem to take advantage of the grace I show them.  So maybe I am wrong.  But, most of my relationships are still in tact.  I accept them for what they are.  True, the situation with my husband still talking to the woman he  was/is emotionally involved with is more difficult to take.  But it is my call to keep trying, to keep loving, and keep believing that our marriage will survive.  so that is what I am doing.  I am choosing a relationship over righteousness. 

I am also focusing on me, I am choosing to love myself more.  to do things that I enjoy, or used to before I fell into this well of depression.  I am going to begin to offer myself the same generous gift of grace that I give to others.  That might just be the most difficult obstacle for me right now.

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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