that same old feeling

I cried a lot today. 

most of it was probably unnecessary.  over disappointments, that just need to be rethought and adjusted.  some of it was justified. 

I am tired.  Tired of feeling fragile.  I want to feel safe agin.  and secure.  how long till that happens again? 

This all seems amplified today for some reason.  PMS maybe.  the news that my therapist is having surgery and won’t be working for a month.  a feeling that so many people need me and I am just unable to be there for them right now. 

I’m sad again.  please God don’t let this depression grow.  I want to be well again.  whole. 

I guess I should remember what my husband says.  all we can hope for is that days like this become fewer and far between.

I know I will be better tomorrow when I see him and he can take some of the weight away just with a touch.

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

One response to “that same old feeling

  • Jennifer

    It took some digging, but I was glad to find your blog written from personal experience with depression. I have just started my own blog (blue2darknight.wordpress.com) and glad to know others are writing about what it is like to deal with this illness daily. As far as your earlier post about families, and what is typical, I just had a discussion with my therapist today about how it was so much healthier for me to live a couple hours away from my family so they aren’t weighing me down with their chaos on top of my own issues. They are good in small doses 🙂

    Sorry you are having a rough day…sometimes I just think I have to have a day to “wallow” and know that tomorrow will be better. If I feel it’s going to get worse or continue, it may be something bigger that needs to be addressed with meds/therapy. I am dealing with a flare up right now, so I cry very easily too. Try and do something good for yourself or do something creative or productive that makes you feel as if you have accomplished something. That seems to help lift the mood too.

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