I don’t know what is going to become of me. I feel so helpless about my own life. Why am I ignoring the facts. I don’t want to face them… I can’t. I’m not strong enough. I am not strong enough to make the demands I need to make.
the fact I need to face is that my husband doesn’t love me. Not enough to do what I need him to. I am not sure he ever will again. I am so heart-broken over this. I try to go along with his pretending. but I feel the truth. I try to fool myself. but as I do that I realize that all that makes me is a fool.
I want so much to be told that I am the most important. that he will do anything for me. anything. that he could not live without me. but it isn’t true. it simply isn’t true. it used to be true and that is what really hurts.
I don’t know what to do… I am lost hopeless and alone. again. really alone this time.