all my stuffs here anyway.

On an evening such as this
It’s hard to tell if I exist
If I Packed a car and leave this town
Who’ll notice that I’m not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say ‘underwear’
I could leave but I’ll just stay
All my stuff’s here anyway.
It’s like a dream – you try to remember but it’s gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.    barenaked ladies

this kind of sums up how I am feeling.    I would really have no problem just getting in the car and driving away, not telling anyone where I am going and when or if I am coming back.    I feel as if I wouldn’t be missed.  I know that really isn’t the case.

perhaps I would not feel this way if those closest to me would remember and take time to do the little things that make me feel loved and special.    of course maybe I should just learn to take care of myself and not be so dependent on others. 

the really sad part about me is the line that best fits me from those lyrics is I could leave but I’ll just stay, all my stuff is here anyway.     when all is said and done it would take too much effort to leave.  not to mention I really don’t want to.  What I really want is to be the one who someone else can’t live without.

About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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