same old new year.

So here I am at the start of a new year.  Yet everything feels so old.  same old feelings, same old vibes, same old self. 

I wanted to be different this year. I wanted to be hopeful.  Instead I am wondering where this year is going to lead me.  I feel negative. unwanted. stupid. to blame for all that is wrong in the lives of those around me.

I am still here, alone. Not with my husband.  No good friends to count on. just me. and I am not good enough even for myself. and it is so abundantly clear that I am not good enough for anyone else either.

I know I am not supposed to give into these negative feelings and self talk, but when actions and words of others reinforce them how can I not?

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

One response to “same old new year.

  • n1i2c3o4l5e

    I like the frankness of your post. I’m almost sure you dont always feel like that. As a matter of fact I think that to write when we dont fell so happy is a act of courage. You are an inspiration for me right now. Thanks for even existing! nb

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