New beginnings

today is march 1

time to try again.   

How am I?  mostly fine.  I am in the process of healing two bulging disks in my neck which have caused intense pain in my shoulder and arm.  arm is 99.9% better.  Shoulder was a great deal better until tonight after I attended a zumba class.  the workout felt good but now my shoulder hurts… hope I didn’t slow down the healing process. 

mentally I am better.  trying to move forward with the next stage of life.  seems as though some people keep pulling me back into the former stage. I am fighting being pulled or pushed back though. 

I was challenged by my therapist to figure out what I am passionate about.  Or at least what I want to devote myself and my time to.  I can identify two things.  1.  My marriage  2. Art or creativity.   I would like to be a happily married artist. 

My family is plugging along.  They all seem to have issues, which become my issues, which I am trying not  to take ownership of.  They are all grown up and need to own their own issues. 

I will turn 50 this year.  I have developed a few ideas about woman of this age.  Tell me if you agree.  

  1. They need to hear they are still attractive.
  2. They need to know they have value as more than just a caregiver.
  3. They need to begin something new.
  4. If they are married they need to become like a newlywed again.

It is as if I am facing a new beginning.  Like my life is starting over.  I wish I could say that my years have made me wise enough to do a better job at living, but I’m not sure that will be the case.  I do believe that I know better what I want and that is not to let life happen to me but to make my life happen. 

now if I can only keep positive. .

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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