today is march 1
time to try again.
How am I? mostly fine. I am in the process of healing two bulging disks in my neck which have caused intense pain in my shoulder and arm. arm is 99.9% better. Shoulder was a great deal better until tonight after I attended a zumba class. the workout felt good but now my shoulder hurts… hope I didn’t slow down the healing process.
mentally I am better. trying to move forward with the next stage of life. seems as though some people keep pulling me back into the former stage. I am fighting being pulled or pushed back though.
I was challenged by my therapist to figure out what I am passionate about. Or at least what I want to devote myself and my time to. I can identify two things. 1. My marriage 2. Art or creativity. I would like to be a happily married artist.
My family is plugging along. They all seem to have issues, which become my issues, which I am trying not to take ownership of. They are all grown up and need to own their own issues.
I will turn 50 this year. I have developed a few ideas about woman of this age. Tell me if you agree.
- They need to hear they are still attractive.
- They need to know they have value as more than just a caregiver.
- They need to begin something new.
- If they are married they need to become like a newlywed again.
It is as if I am facing a new beginning. Like my life is starting over. I wish I could say that my years have made me wise enough to do a better job at living, but I’m not sure that will be the case. I do believe that I know better what I want and that is not to let life happen to me but to make my life happen.
now if I can only keep positive. .