Is it me?

march 9

I missed  yesterday because I was really sick. 

better today. 

physically anyway.  emotionally I am not so sure.   I am just so sick of this!!!  I don’t want to be apart for days.  the few weeks that I was able to be with my husband more than we were apart I was feeling good.  Why does this only matter to me?  Why can’t anyone else see that. 

a few weeks ago my husband was sick, very sick.  I went to take care of him till he was some better.  But I  had to get back for work.  he  got worse and I couldn’t be there.  I kept telling him I wish I could be there to take care of him.  He didn’t tell me that once.  I didn’t expect him to come home.  It was the stomach flu and I knew it wouldn’t last long.  but it would have been nice to hear that he wished he could.  it seems to me that when we are only together two days the easier it is for him to be apart.  it is the opposite for me.  

why does it seem that no one understands how hard this is on me.   I was not designed to be away from the man I love… I have coped and adapted long enough.

and If that isn’t what he wants why doesn’t he just end the whole thing?   although that isn’t really what I want.  I want to be more like a normal couple not an abomination of one. 

sometimes I wish I had it in me to cheat.  but I really don’t want to.  all I really want  is to be shown love by the man I have been married to for 28 years. 

Am I abnormal to be feeling this way?

ok pull yourself together.  only one more week, then vacation.  then back to MY plan.  unless it gets too expensive to drive.  ridiculous gas prices!!  I must be strong and fight the forces that try to thwart my plan ( ok now I am getting stupid)  but seriously, there are times when I feel outside forces are interfering with what was and could be again a good strong marriage.  (my christianity shining through)  I trust God won’t alow that to happen.  amen.

About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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