How many times will I break till I’m shattered?

March 18

Vacation starts tomorrow.  and of course something happened to start it off with emotional turmoil.  Of course it involved “her”     Just a phone call. 

A phone call that should not be taking place.  A phone call the unwittingly showed that I am not always the priority. Not the one who is put first. 

I feel foolish.  worthless. not good enough all over again.  

“How many times can I break till I’m shattered?”     

My husband will be home tomorrow, he should have been here tonight but I kept him up almost all night last night.   he will glue me back together again. funny how he is the one who keeps breaking me. 

Yet I still belive with all my being that someday it will all be past us.  “she ” won’t be part of our lives at all.  No phone calls, no emails, no texts.  “she” will be a true non-issue.  not the don’t ask don’t tell “non-issue” that my Husband calls her now.    I pray that day will come quickly.  before I am shattered.

About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

4 responses to “How many times will I break till I’m shattered?

  • breakingfreefromme


    and might I suggest you try motivation with a nifty item you probably already have in your home? It is called a cast iron skillet. It has a good solid weight and hopefully a long handle you can hold onto with both hands to get a good amount of momentum going before it hits the object that needs proper motivation?
    *Note-I do not actually suggest you beat your husband over the head with a cast iron skillet but I wouldn’t be lying if I said I’ve used one to take my abusive 6’5″ 300lb crackhead ex-husband down a few notches 🙂

  • lifeaftertheaffair

    I am going through something very similar, lots of hugs x

    • aloneagain3

      sorry it has taken me awhile to respond.
      I read your blog. I see you have been forced on the on ramp of the rather bumpy road that I am on.
      things seem to be smoothing out for me, but I am still unsure. I remain afraid. but the off ramp might be in sight soon.
      I can not imagine the extent of your pain, as your husbands transgressions seem to be more egregious than those of mine.
      I am not sure of my reaction to the discoveries you have made. I think it would be quite different than my current reaction.
      I am thankful for the distance between my husband and the OW. although as you stated in your post technology can be a problem. It has extended the life of their relationship.
      please keep in touch with me and let me know how you are doing. I am sure we can be some comfort and hlep to each other.
      hugs 🙂

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