I miss those days.

april 7

One of our cars has been out of commission for about two weeks now.  got the call today that it is finished to the tune of $890.00. Which is actually a bargain because we used junk yard parts.  So the question then becomes how do we pay for this.  I am not a good money manager, and we do not have a savings account. So here we go taking another dive into the ever dwindling retirement account.  Which ment I had to find the information needed to call and start the process.  Which means an exhaustive search through the various places things of that nature are put. 

So that means that other things will be uncovered in the search.  today I found a question and answer book that my husband and I toyed with during the early part of the past decade.  The things he wrote were full of love and admiration for me as his wife.  it was nice to read, but sad at the same time because I am not sure his answers would be as tender and sweet as they were then.   Many of the (well most, we never have been good at this kind of stuff) questions were not addressed.  I read through them today.  I am not going to suggest we pick up where we left off.  I don’t think I want to know what some of the answers will be at this point in our life and marriage. 

I do miss the days when I was as sure of his love as I was then.  I Think those days are returning. But trusting again is not very easy.  especially with the amount of time we have to spend apart. 

A good think I noticed about this journey into the past was that did not get caught up in the feelings of sadness over what had been and isn’t anymore.  I didn’t let my mind wander into the land of what might be going on, well not too much.  I went on with my day. 

A day which included cleaning a very nasty kitchen.  it still isn’t all clean. because I need help, seems as though I can never do anything on my own.   My wonderful husband (at least this week he has been wonderful) said he will help over the weekend.  He actually said he likes cleaning with me… now that may be a bit of a stretch, but nice of him to say.

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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