16 to 1

april 13

The husband and I just had one of our phone fights.  they might not be as bad as they get if he wouldn’t hang up on me.

of course it was over “her”.  I was talking to him  about midnight and I heard the phone “buzz”  I asked who he was texting.  He got defensive.  so I knew it was her.  I don’t know why he can’t get it through his head that part of what upsets me most is him not telling me about his contact with her.  finally he told me what she was texting him about and it was about some event she went to and was excited about.  I said it was something that could have waited till tomorrow to tell him about and that it is upsetting because calling or texting someone at midnight because you can’t wait to tell them something signifies love.  and I am not happy that she loves my husband!!!! PERIOD!

The thing is, if he would set and follow boundaries with her, I would be much more understanding about this friendship.  I know my husband and know that he feels ending the relationship all together would be like abandoning her.  so I am willing to wait for it to lessen.  but he has to set boundaries.  Number one boundary is appropriate times to call and text.  anything after 9:00 PM is inappropriate!  that time is reserved for family.  it is my time to call him!  He says he will set this boundary with her… we will see. 

once again we have landed in the area of  a negative action or word is 16 times more powerful that a positive one.  yesterday and today he sent me some nice texts and emailed me a YouTube video of “our”song.  He encouraged me when I didn’t feel like working out tonight.  He was wonderful. 

this 16 to 1 idea is something that he loves to preach about.  why is it that people never seem to want to practice what they preach? 

Just the fact that the amount and subject matter of their talk is something I have to wonder and worry about is a negative action to my mind.  I try to focus on the positive things he does for me, but it is still there. every day.

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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