the positive and the negative

june 16

I’m not sure what to write about today.  It was a rather ordinary day.  I watched the grandson, it rained off and on, and so we mostly watched movies.  Thankfully the 20-year-old took the grandson for a little while so I could take a nap. 

No conflicts today. 

I am looking forward to the weekend.  Well at least parts of it.  The part about staying at my mother-in-laws, not so much.  Seeing the husband, very much.  having a visit with an old school mate, very much. 

The problem I have with looking forward to things is that when I do I almost always get disappointed.  I am tired of  disappointments.  

 I never really thought I was such a negative person.  I hope that it is a result of my depression and will fade as the depression gets better.  The thing is that I am not all that depressed right now.  I mean I don’t have nearly as many depressed days as I did several months ago. 

So my question becomes, is the negativity a result of the depression, or is the depression a result of the negativity?    Or does it really even matter? 

So I have positive things happening this weekend.  Why can’t I simply be positive about them?

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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