what’s it all about?

July 27

lets talk about sex. 

a younger person recently told me that it truly is all about sex.  Is it?

I have found that I am different that many other women I talk with.  Not that we specifically talk about sex.  but they make it clear that sex is much more important to their husbands than it is to them.  It seems as though things have always been the opposite in my marriage. 

According to this younger person, who is a male, if the sex is good a man will do anything for you.  and that is where the love he feels for you comes from. 

I beg to differ with this young gentleman.  Although I think sex is very,very important.  I don’t think it is a good barometer for love in a relationship.  So many other things play a part. 

That being said.   I want to say that I want to have sex.  often.  more often than the  husband and I actually have sex.  But even more than that I want my husband to want to have sex with me.  I want to know that he dreams about it.  that he craves it.  I want to be the utmost object of his desire. 

I am going to get to be in the same town as the husband for the next week or so.  and guess what.  we won’t have sex that much.  (unless maybe he reads this)  He is in too much pain.  His grief is too overwhelming.  So it is ok that we don’t have sex.  Now that is what is most important in a relationship.  Knowing what the other person is going through and putting aside your own wants, desires, and needs for them. 

I am going to be with him so he is not alone.  (even though he thinks he wants to be alone)   So I can comfort him when he cries.  When he misses his mother.  when he needs me.

About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

2 responses to “what’s it all about?

  • victoriasvisits

    Aloneagain, you are becoming more and more articulate. It is a pleasure to read what you write.
    As far as sex is concerned, it is a beautiful desire to want to be the object of your husband’s heart. Entirely Godly and wonderful. But he demeans you when he has someone else in your bed. When my husband had cancer, we had sex twice in two years. He was just too sick. But we were the objects of each other’s desire, and I truly didn’t miss it. Wanting sex is a misplaced desire to wanting to be treasured and loved. Again, you don’t help him by having no boundaries.
    much love,

    • aloneagain3

      victoriavisits, as far as I know, there has been no sex between my husband and the other woman. although I am 100% sure he tought about it. there was a great deal of inappropriate behavior though. God has provided distance betweeen them. she lives 5 hours away from where heworks. I have tried to set boundaries, but for the most part they have been crossed.
      I want you to know that some of my “tolerence” stems from a deep rooted fear of abandonment that I didn’t even realize I had. that fear still exsists. As I stated in my post positive vs negitive, I have had real signs that our relationship is on the mend, of course this past weekend put us some steps back. Timeing is not something I have been good at through this whole ordeal.
      thank you for your thoughts I truly value them.
      I look forward to more, I have also enjoyed your posts.


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