I am back “home” again.
the stress I feel here does not make this place much of a home any more.
I only asked for two things to be done while I was gone and neither of them were.
I could make a big deal of them but it will not do any good. I have no authority in my own home or life.
I am sure this is my fault for letting it happen. for not asserting the authority I have as the matriarch of the family. I fear it is too late to change things now.
I have three days to get the house together. on two of those days I will pick the grandson up from day care and watch him for the evening, on the third evening I will be at work. I will spend the days battling against the desire to lay in bed and do nothing since I will be overwhelmed by all that needs to be done.
Then comes a “family day of fun” at a water park. we have done this for about 15 years. and it usually is fun. with the exception of maybe one or two years. the stress comes from figuring out who rides with who. should we wait for someone who might be running late. Of course any time things do not run smoothly, the blame falls on me, even if it only comes from me. which is sometimes the case.
the group this year is small though so things should go fairly well. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
so here’s to a good week!!