still holding on.

I had an emotionally exhausting counseling session today.

I am chosing to keep myself in a situation that is destroying me.    I am not ready to make the healthy choice.

We talked about the possibility of  separation.  Wow.  as I type that I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

The reason for separation would not be the first step in a permanent split… it would be to give me a chance to concentrate on myself.  to take care of me and put me first.    I am sure the husband would not view it that way,  He would consider it the beginning of the end of our marriage.  That I think is why I can’t do it.  I reiterate my position.  I DO NOT WANT MY MARRIAGE TO END!!!!!

However, neither can I accept things as they are… I do not want a mediocre marriage either.

So here I am between a rock and a hard place.  Totally committed to a man who is not totally committed to me.

These issues will be discussed in our couples counseling this week.  I pray that the husband allows God to work in him and restore our marriage to what God intended it to be.

 

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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