Monthly Archives: March 2012

remembering my dad.

19 years ago tomorrow my daddy died.

the last thing he ever said to me was “daddy loves you”     I was not a little girl, but those words meant so much to me, every time we said good-bye on the phone.

OH how I miss him, what a comfort he would be to me now.  How I would love to sit in front of him as he brushed my hair.  how wonderful would it be to have a bowl of popcorn with him before bed.  To hear him call me “coon” or “Coonie Jane” again.

No man (or person for that matter) has ever loved me like he did, not even my biological father.

I hope he would be proud of my commitment and the choices I am making at this time in my life.

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wrong era maybe

just sitting here today thinking what it is I really want.  is there something wrong with just wanting to be a wife?  

Or maybe I just want to be nothing.  do nothing. have nothing … yeah that sounds pretty good right now.  just me myself and my nothingness.  

 


wrong era maybe

just sitting here today thinking what it is I really want.  is there something wrong with just wanting to be a wife?  

Or maybe I just want to be nothing.  do nothing. have nothing … yeah that sounds pretty good right now.  just me myself and my nothingness.  

 


needing a break

I have been very busy with school and the family….

 

today I want to scream…. LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE.    I

I need a break from my family.   I can’t even begin to explain the issues that every one of them is having.  they are all so needy and on the verge of breakdowns… the problem is I just can’t help them anymore.  I don’t have the time, energy, or answers to do what they need.  and even if I did have the answer they wouldn’t and don’t do what needs to be done to help themselves… they are all grown up   they need to start acting like it.   and I need to get away.  next week is my spring break from school … I am planing to go and stay with the husband, we really need some time together.  although since he took over the bills and finances (thank goodness, finally!!!)  he is very stressed and his stress usually means stress for me.  so I pray that we will have a good week.

WELL   time to get back to the school work.