under his thumb

Can I survive this?

the husband is depressed.  of course he can’t be depressed in the normal way.    His depression manifests itself in aggression, dissatisfaction, and disapproval of me.  any thing I do that is not perfect is a huge deal.

He makes me feel as if he hates me.  maybe he really does.

The last time I went through this I tried to kill myself.  I do not think that will be the path I take this time.  Thanks to the hours and hours of counseling I have had I am in a much better place.    instead of thinking he is right this time I just get pissed.

I hope he realizes what he is doing to us before it is too late.

I don’t need him as much as I did two years ago.  I am stronger and more sure of myself. I know I am not the stupid person he wants me to think I am.  He would never admit or maybe he doesn’t  realize that he wants me to feel that way but he does.  It helps to keep him in control.

I still alow too much.  I am still “under his thumb”

Advertisements

About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: