Monthly Archives: August 2012

Maybe

it is funny how a song can change its meaning in your life.

I am a big Rod Stewart fan and  his rendition  of  “Have I told you lately”  always echoed my feelings toward my husband.  They even continued to do so after the discovery of his affair. But now they just make me sad.

Have I told you lately that I love you  ( no not really.. only in response to my profession of love for you)
Have I told you there’s no one else above you  ( no… she is still in your life, and you have said you aren’t sure what you want)
Fill my heart with gladness  (my heart is filled with  hopelessness)
Take away all my sadness    (you are the cause of my sadness)
Ease my troubles that’s what you do  (I am troubled by my inability to set proper boundaries and limitations)

For the morning sun in all it’s glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too  (I find little hope and comfort in anything)
You fill my life with laughter
And somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles that’s what you do
There’s a love that’s divine   (I used to feel our love was divine… it is tarnished now)
And it’s yours and it’s mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray  (I am virtually unable to pray)
To the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do

There’s a love that’s divine
And it’s yours and it’s mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray
To the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do
Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do
Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/rod+stewart/have+i+told+you+lately_20117585.html ]

So a song that used to make me smile and feel like I was the part of something others don’t get the pleasure of having, has now become a reminder of what is lost, and may never return.

I pray that this song will regain its original meaning for me.  Maybe it will.

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no words

I have much to say and yet no words come for me to say it.. 

I am feeling like a second class citizen in my own life.