stagnation

Time moves along and nothing really changes except my moral.  I am more and more hopeless for my marriage.  I could stay in it just the way it is.  but that is making me feel more and more inadequate. 

logically I know that there is nothing I can do to make my husband do what is right.  but emotionally I feel like I am just not good enough. 

Things go smoothly as long as I don’t mention how I feel about the presence of Her in our lives. 

I am angry a lot.  angry at him, at her, but mostly at myself for not doing what I have to do to take care of me. 

I think the thing I am the most angry about it that I am probably doing irreparable damage to myself. 

I’m not sure how but I probably am. 

I feel like I am in a stagnating pond, that just keeps getting more and more brackish. 

My entire life is affected and my mind is consumed with the situation.  I might just be dying.

 

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About aloneagain3

I am a wife and mother of 5 grown children... and 3 grandchildren.. I have been married for 29 years... I thought I did ok at life... turns out i sucked at it... but I am getting better!! View all posts by aloneagain3

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