Time moves along and nothing really changes except my moral. I am more and more hopeless for my marriage. I could stay in it just the way it is. but that is making me feel more and more inadequate.
logically I know that there is nothing I can do to make my husband do what is right. but emotionally I feel like I am just not good enough.
Things go smoothly as long as I don’t mention how I feel about the presence of Her in our lives.
I am angry a lot. angry at him, at her, but mostly at myself for not doing what I have to do to take care of me.
I think the thing I am the most angry about it that I am probably doing irreparable damage to myself.
I’m not sure how but I probably am.
I feel like I am in a stagnating pond, that just keeps getting more and more brackish.
My entire life is affected and my mind is consumed with the situation. I might just be dying.