Tonight I just want to have a nice conversation. About positive things. I really want this conversation to be with my husband.
We didn’t speak to each other tonight we sent texts.
What are you doing.
ME. helping the 29 year old clean out her room.
I later told him I had the daughter stop cleaning and get her son to bed while I cleaned off her bed so she could get some school work done and go to bed. And other information regarding her.
What are you watching.
HIM. a show about Australian animals.
ME. Australia has the worlds most deadly animals. Just a little trivia I know.
ME. Remember when we used to watch Boston Legal at the same time and I would call you when something crazy happened?
HIM. yes. That was when we both had cable 😦
ME. that was supposed to be a happy memory.
ME. that was before I lost interest in tv. Lol.
ME. I had to turn the heater on in the bedroom tonight
HIM I bet. It’s supposed to get really cold
ME. It is 11 degrees right now
HIM. 33 here
ME. And we are supposed to get an inch or two is snow
HIM. that sucks
ME. yes I hate it.
ME. Did you eat with the [people he is staying with] tonight?
NOT READ YET. Which means he fell asleep.
I want more.
We have conversations like this and then I start to wonder, conjure up, and obsess over what his conversations with Her are like. Are they trivial too? If they are is that good or bad?
I want MY fucking husband back. I want to have mundane conversations and not think anything of it. I want to have loving conversations and not have to wonder if he really feels that way or if he is placating me. I want her out of his life completely. I WANT MY FUCKING HUSBAND BACK. AND I WANT HIM TO BE BETTER THAN EVER!!!!