This song is for all of us…
It is time we all Choose ourselves, whatever that means for us.
For me that means being happy, even when the pain of what I am going through creeps in, or hits me in the face. No matter what happens between my husband and I, I am going to be happy.
In the end I am positive that He and I will be a happily married couple again. either way I am Joyful in who I am.
You can too! I love you all!!!
One thing I’ve noticed about the effects of an affair on a person is an attention to details.
For example our family has always expressed love for one another verbally. We still do. It used to be perfectly fine for my husband to say “love you”. Now I it bothers me when he doesn’t say “I love you”. It makes a difference some how. Like he loves me but it isn’t romantic love. Or am I being nit picky.
I’m really feeling the need for intimacy lately. I talk to my husband on the phone and feel intense desire for him. I have in the past written him fantasy texts and I thought I might do that tonight via email. I began writing a scenario but had to stop. It included an element of surprise. I couldn’t continue. I kept thinking he would call her name instead of mine. My fantasy has become a nightmare.
Having a very bad day.
It started last night.
I need my husband and he isn’t here for me physically. But more importantly emotionally.
There is nothing I can do. He blames me for everything How convenient for him to have me so he doesn’t have to take any responsibility for the condition of our lives.
I know we need money to survive. I know if I had done things differently we would have savings. I know if he had done things differently we would have savings.
No life didn’t have to be this way. But it isn’t ALL my fault. We are both to blame.
Life is hard enough with the challenges I just described. Then he goes and makes it worse by having this affair. How is this helping anything???
It isn’t. I often feel it is his way of punishing me.
There are enough consequences for how we mismanaged our lives. I don’t need punishment from him.
What an incredible mess.
Many of you relay how your husband feels about their AP’s and how they were just available for sex. And
That they didn’t have feelings for them and the sex wasn’t as good.
I am asking if any of you who read these blogs are dealing with the aftermath of an affair where you husband was in love with the AP. But is still staying in the marriage
Is there anyone else out there?
I’m beginning to feel that I am in the wrong group of bloggers.
Almost all of your husbands are trying so hard to earn your trust back, to show you how much they love you. My situation is so different.
I should find other women who are stupidly remaining true to their marriage vows in spite of being married to a man who does not deserve such loyalty.
I am grieving I am in a grief that I choose to live in. I can’t tell you why.
Maybe it is my Pollyanna optimism believing that by some miracle my husband will realize what he has done and actually care about my pain and stop! That some day he will return to the man he once was. And we can live out the rest of our lives together as once was our plan.
I KNOW my capacity for forgiveness.
If only he would care and want my forgiveness.