Tag Archives: chaos

anxious chaotic rambling.

March 17    Well it was a  minute ago… so we are gonna say it still is for purposes of this post. 

For some reason this evening I have been anxious.  I have no reason to be, yet I still feel anxious.   I also found myself very angry at one point.   I am not longer angry, but I am still anxious. 

I guess I will have days like this. 

I wonder does this anxious, nervous energy burn calories?  that would be great. I need to lose about 20 to 25 lbs. 

I had trouble sleeping last night, I am chalking that up to the 2 cans of dr pepper I had that evening.  I was tired tonight after I came home from work but no longer feel tired.  I hope I can sleep.  I did drink more soda tonight.    but I don’t think it will be the problem… I think it is my anxiety. 

I just don’t feel right.  What the heck.  I was feeling much more normal last week and earlier this week.   now I feel this sence of chaos in my mind and body.   

I hope the vacation will help. 

I am rambling.  Sorry.    I am no longer comfortable with my chaos.

comfortable in my chaos.

March 16

it is Wednesday.  Wednesday is sometimes my hardest day of the week .  although teaching the past four weeks has been kind of nice.  I have had one student, a very talented and bright and confident 10-year-old who wanted to learn how to scrapbook.  She made it easy. 

My next class is scheduled to begin in april. No students yet.  hope I get a few. I should be working on advertising for the in the store but have not as of yet. 

I am in the thinking stages of a new endeavor for my home.  operation de-clutter and organize.  This is a huge undertaking for me and not something I can just jump into.  I bought a magazine about organization.  it has actually proved helpful.  it has given me some ideas. 

My first organizational task is going to be to clean out the drawer next to the refrigerator, and relocate my spices there.  I have noticed that I don’t get stuff out of the drawer very often so a lot of the stuff can probably be tossed or at least stored in a more appropriate place.  My plan is to do this when I get back from vacation.  like on the 28th  of march.  That sounds like a goal.  Wow me setting a goal who would have ever guessed that I would do that. 

I seem to be full of many ideas these past few days.  (refer to yesterdays post about chaos of my mind)  Maybe I should write them down as not to forget them.  knowing me I will not do this. I guess because in writing them down they no longer are good ideas, they are then a list of things that must be done.  Chores. Work. things that have a negative connotation to me.  So I remain in a state of chaos. 

Is that where I want to be?  Or is it time to grow into something else?  Will changing make me better or push me down?  I don’t know.  Does anyone out there have any wisdom to impart on  me?  Please feel free to advise.