Tag Archives: negative

How is everyone?

Everyone is so quiet these days. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Things here are what I would classify as pretty bad. The weekend away with my husband has been canceled. I not going to see him as was the second plan and he is not coming home as was the third plan.
We have not seen each other for two months. The longest ever. I am not sure he even cares. He has told me once in that time that he misses me.
I know he is feeling hopeless because of our financial situation and I understand that. Our marriage means more to me than any money or other problems. I acknowledge that I hold a greater part in our financial issues. His reactions to those issues have magnified the problem and damaged us and continue to damage us. I pray we are not beyond repair although I fear we may be.
It is hard to keep positive but negativity breeds negativity so I must concentrate on my goals and dreams in a positive way. And be happy in myself. No matter what happens to my marriage.


Thoughts , needs, and Friday.

Fighting negative thoughts today. They can be so strong. I must not let
Them take over!!!
It’s just so hard when my needs are not being met. I should change what it is I need.
Happy Friday everyone.

the positive and the negative

june 16

I’m not sure what to write about today.  It was a rather ordinary day.  I watched the grandson, it rained off and on, and so we mostly watched movies.  Thankfully the 20-year-old took the grandson for a little while so I could take a nap. 

No conflicts today. 

I am looking forward to the weekend.  Well at least parts of it.  The part about staying at my mother-in-laws, not so much.  Seeing the husband, very much.  having a visit with an old school mate, very much. 

The problem I have with looking forward to things is that when I do I almost always get disappointed.  I am tired of  disappointments.  

 I never really thought I was such a negative person.  I hope that it is a result of my depression and will fade as the depression gets better.  The thing is that I am not all that depressed right now.  I mean I don’t have nearly as many depressed days as I did several months ago. 

So my question becomes, is the negativity a result of the depression, or is the depression a result of the negativity?    Or does it really even matter? 

So I have positive things happening this weekend.  Why can’t I simply be positive about them?

16 to 1

april 13

The husband and I just had one of our phone fights.  they might not be as bad as they get if he wouldn’t hang up on me.

of course it was over “her”.  I was talking to him  about midnight and I heard the phone “buzz”  I asked who he was texting.  He got defensive.  so I knew it was her.  I don’t know why he can’t get it through his head that part of what upsets me most is him not telling me about his contact with her.  finally he told me what she was texting him about and it was about some event she went to and was excited about.  I said it was something that could have waited till tomorrow to tell him about and that it is upsetting because calling or texting someone at midnight because you can’t wait to tell them something signifies love.  and I am not happy that she loves my husband!!!! PERIOD!

The thing is, if he would set and follow boundaries with her, I would be much more understanding about this friendship.  I know my husband and know that he feels ending the relationship all together would be like abandoning her.  so I am willing to wait for it to lessen.  but he has to set boundaries.  Number one boundary is appropriate times to call and text.  anything after 9:00 PM is inappropriate!  that time is reserved for family.  it is my time to call him!  He says he will set this boundary with her… we will see. 

once again we have landed in the area of  a negative action or word is 16 times more powerful that a positive one.  yesterday and today he sent me some nice texts and emailed me a YouTube video of “our”song.  He encouraged me when I didn’t feel like working out tonight.  He was wonderful. 

this 16 to 1 idea is something that he loves to preach about.  why is it that people never seem to want to practice what they preach? 

Just the fact that the amount and subject matter of their talk is something I have to wonder and worry about is a negative action to my mind.  I try to focus on the positive things he does for me, but it is still there. every day.