I was told yesterday by the husband that I accept the abnormal as normal. He is correct. although he was referring to the life styles of our children, the same applies to my acceptance of his distorted idea of normal for our marriage.
I am sure he wouldn’t feel the same way. Of course he is the king of the double standard. Things he wouldn’t tolerate from anyone I am supposed to tolerate from him.
so life is continuing as it always does and I am taking it one day at a time. I’m looking for a job. Finding a job that is what I want to do will be very beneficial to me. I think I am slowly coming back to the point I was just a short time ago. at least that is what I keep telling myself.
I am finding that Tuesday and Wednesday seem to be my sad days. I try to ignore the sadness and think positively. That is becoming easier and easier as time moves forward.
I believe my week goes like this:
- Sunday good until the husband leaves, but only the sweet sorrow of saying goodbye.
- Monday time to get on with the week or recover from the weekend, and some Mondays I have to work. not too bad since I just spent the weekend with the husband
- Tuesday too many days till friday when the husband comes home. I start to really miss him and sometimes wonder if he is missing me. Tuesdays seem to be the days that I get caught in thinking about the past.
- Wednesday no more residual effect from the weekend, and still far from friday. it helps when I have students to teach.
- Thursday only one more day. I can do this. I get more energy and begin to get things cleaned up from the week and ready for the husbands return.
- Friday really in cleaning mode now. hate when I have to work on friday evenings.
- Saturday usually enjoy time with the husband and if we are lucky we even get a few minutes to ourselves. although we enjoy our time with the grandson.
Next week will be different though. I finally get to go stay with my husband for my days off! It has been a long time coming.
I am looking forward to seeing him at the end of each day.
but first the holiday weekend. we will be installing a new vanity in the bathroom. Hope we make it through relatively unscathed. he tends to get frustrated with me when we do projects like that. there are times when I don’t really understand what exactly he wants me to do. He will say “hold that” Hold what? what exactly is “that” And then there is the go and get me a “____” (just fill in the blank) I usually do know the tool he is asking for, I usually don’t know where it is. which means I have to hunt for it. when or if I do find it, by the time I get it to him he has found a substitute tool.
He get frustrated with me, and I begin to get anxious about doing something wrong, which makes me make even more mistakes. It can get ugly. OH and don’t forget we will have the 2-year-old grandson trying to help pappy too.
Maybe one of the kids will be available to help this weekend.
Is it true that in every relationship one person cares more about the relationship than the other?
OR is this just a “MAN thing”?
I live for the weekends when my husband comes home. He is ok with going for a couple of weeks without seeing me. how can we keep our relationship going, and getting fixed if we don’t get any time together?
it just all seems more important to me then it does to him. Is this normal.
What ever happened to happily ever after… well not in the fairy tale meaning… but in the “we are a couple and we are going to make this work for both of us” meaning.
am I as selfish as he thinks I am? If that is true I am not sure how to be less selfish, since being unselfish the way he thinks I should be, feels like giving up on my marriage.
We are told to find out what is most important to us and put all that we have into that… well my husband is what is most important to me, I am trying to put all that I have into our relationship, but I feel as if he finds my efforts unreasonable and childish.
I truly wish I had an answer. a magic fix all, if you will. but I don’t and once again I must simply trust and wait.