Had somewhat of a long day today.
Began with my new wake up call, “Grammy” My grandson now comes to get me instead of his mother. I got upset with her today because of her frustration with his terrible twos. she said some awful things about being a mother. after that chaos calmed a bit, the afternoon wasn’t too bad. then I went to work. worked for 5 hours. came home to work on my daughter’s birthday cake. put in about three hours of work on that.
Tomorrow will be a long day as well. working 9-5 then home to finish the cake. The best part is that my husband will be home. I am so looking forward to that. I am sure he really isn’t as he had a bad day at work today. not that he doesn’t want to come home, he just won’t be to thrilled about the 3 hour drive.
I really want to ask him about his contact with “her” but know that this is not a good time. I wish I didn’t have to ask. I would like him to tell me himself as if it really wasn’t a big deal. or that I didn’t have to ask because he wasn’t talking to her at all.
I just need to be there with him for so many reasons. it would be a help to him as well. maybe soon he will realize that.
that is all the ramblings I have for now.
March 17 Well it was a minute ago… so we are gonna say it still is for purposes of this post.
For some reason this evening I have been anxious. I have no reason to be, yet I still feel anxious. I also found myself very angry at one point. I am not longer angry, but I am still anxious.
I guess I will have days like this.
I wonder does this anxious, nervous energy burn calories? that would be great. I need to lose about 20 to 25 lbs.
I had trouble sleeping last night, I am chalking that up to the 2 cans of dr pepper I had that evening. I was tired tonight after I came home from work but no longer feel tired. I hope I can sleep. I did drink more soda tonight. but I don’t think it will be the problem… I think it is my anxiety.
I just don’t feel right. What the heck. I was feeling much more normal last week and earlier this week. now I feel this sence of chaos in my mind and body.
I hope the vacation will help.
I am rambling. Sorry. I am no longer comfortable with my chaos.
in the world of electronic communication there are two kind of people. Responders and non-responders.
I am a responder. if you send me a text or an email I will respond unless it is clear that no response is warranted. it is important for me to let you, the sender know that I received your communication.
My husband is a non-responder. This can be very frustrating. did the text send? did what I have to say mean nothing to you, or make you mad? Are you ok?
Having a non-responder husband adds to my recent insecurities. I over analyze the meaning behind getting no response. In reality there is no reason for the non-response, it is just his way. I have addressed this matter with my husband. and I think he has tried, but is still mostly a non-responder. I don’t mind the no response to an informational text such as “I am at work now” but when I send a text telling him that I love him or miss him or can’t wait to see him some kind of acknowledgement of the sentiment would be nice. When I get no response I picture rolled eyes and a oh brother attitude. when I get a response I feel validated and appreciated. A response means a great deal to me.
If you read this I am curious to know which category you fall under, and if you are in a relationship with the opposite type.