Tag Archives: tired


June 11

Thank God the Yard Sale is Over!!!

Grand total for the two-day sale… $28.00     Woo Hoo!!!

The best part is that I had lined up a guy to come and take the rest of the stuff away.  He took most of  what I had for him to take. All I have to get rid of is a bunk bed frame, two chairs and some smaller stuff. 

I did keep the things that I had hand painted, and the Princess House items.  I will either list them on craigs list or give them as gifts.

I am angry that I had to do it all on my own.  I am tired of doing things on my own.  I understand that it had to be this way due to the mother-in-law being in the hospital, but I still am a bit angry. 

As soon as I got the yard sale put away it was time to get ready for work.  I then worked from 2:00 – 9:30.   My daughter was waiting for me ( I had her car) when I got done and we went to pick up the grandson.  She is now out for the evening, and the grandson is in bed, but not asleep.  He just called me.   I am really too tired to watch him tonight.  If he does not go to sleep soon I will be calling his Mother.  

Tomorrow will be a cleaning day.  Dishes, laundry, front porch, back yard.   at least that is my plan.  Of course I will be babysitting most of the day. 

I have many things on my mind these days but for tonight I am just going to enjoy the fact that the yard sale is over!

how was your day?

april 18

My husband asked me if I had a good day today.  I told him yes because I guess I did.  well at least it wasn’t a bad day.

I was feeling more negative today. 

I spoke (well Facebook chatted) with a friend who lives about 5 hours away.  Her father-in-law passed away last week so I wanted to check in with her and express my condolences. 

as we chatted we began to talk about church and life in general.  she told me I need to stop doing so much for the others in my family.  to do something for myself and to find joy in my life.  of course she has found some joy and comfort from the church she is attending.   I am not.  I am trying to find joy in my creative abilities. but life seems to keep getting in the way. 

I want to find joy and be happy again.  I do feel joy at times. but mostly I am just tired.  tired of all the stuff that needs to be done, and tired of being the only one that does it. and tired of being criticized for how it is done or for the speed it is done or for it not being done at all.  but mostly I am tired of being apart from my husband. 

I remember a time when I was content with how my life was. Even though it was not exactly how I wanted it to be.  I was content and accepting of things as they were.  I no longer feel that way.  I want things to be the way I want them to be.  which is the more traditional and normal way.  like living full-time with my husband!   

sometimes I feel if I had not been so accepting of the status quo I would not be in the emotional state I am in now.  I guess it is up to me to make it happen.  even if it pisses some people off! 

so how was your day?

why am I tired?

march 28

I am very tired tonight.  not sure why.  I did walk over 14,000 steps today.  but I slept the entire afternoon.  so I didn’t think I would be tried like this. 

I have some things I would like to get done tomorrow in addition to walking.   hopefully I will not feel tired. 

I have to work on a birthday cake for the 27-year-old, who will be 28 on saturday.  I think I would be much more excited about doing it if she had done what she told us she would do and cleaned up the living room.  toys are a mess and there is still stuff that needs picked up from the search for her bank card which turned out to be in her wallet after all. 

I think that is the biggest reason why I am tired, I have much cleaning to do and it almost all is cleaning up after them.  

I don’t even want to be in my own home.  I wish I was strong enough not to  let them walk over me as they do.

that same old feeling

I cried a lot today. 

most of it was probably unnecessary.  over disappointments, that just need to be rethought and adjusted.  some of it was justified. 

I am tired.  Tired of feeling fragile.  I want to feel safe agin.  and secure.  how long till that happens again? 

This all seems amplified today for some reason.  PMS maybe.  the news that my therapist is having surgery and won’t be working for a month.  a feeling that so many people need me and I am just unable to be there for them right now. 

I’m sad again.  please God don’t let this depression grow.  I want to be well again.  whole. 

I guess I should remember what my husband says.  all we can hope for is that days like this become fewer and far between.

I know I will be better tomorrow when I see him and he can take some of the weight away just with a touch.